Philosophy?

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
I couldn’t work today because of an eye problem. I just can’t see myself working today.
When in doubt, mumble.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Brigade usually uses water.
When it comes to work, change is inevitable, except from the vending machine.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.